The New Adventures of Captain N

Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep

[System Boot]
Run system.sys
log sensory data to bootlog.txt/Mission Record Log 100459
print file 100459.txt

“Mission Record Log 100459
Status: Zero Hour, Final preparations for Mother Brain’s Invasion Force
Analysis: “N” team’s fighting capabilities have been reduced significantly by absence of leader, Kevin Keene
Security upgrades are in place. Thanks to doctor Light’s investment and invention. Slow opening security doors, gun emplacements and MET’s have been placed along every access route. My interface capabilities are still not 100% in syncro with the Palace of Power, there are some “Black Box” systems I cannot gain access to and Game Boy seems to be in charge of them. I’m not sure what hoping is, but this seems like a likely scenario where one would “hope” that all defenses will suffice.
Princess Lana has chosen to lead the remnants of the N team on a final assault upon Mother Brain’s planet, Metroid. According to information moving around the palace, she has just gone through the human procedure of reproduction and does not seem at maximum efficiency for fighting. The deviation in performance is going to have to be left up to the other offensive elements of the team.
Simon Belmont’s methods of combat seem a bit archaic, such as a use of a whip might be against laser batteries, but his confidence and reassuring nature seems to be a morale boost to the bio-forms of our team.
Pit, the champion of Mount Olympus has the combat capability of flight and high maneuverability and he is extremely efficient with his bow and arrow. He seems to have gotten over his speech impediment of adding “-icus” to the end of every sentence. This robot would think that if it were a machine, it would have been a flaw of programming.
On that same point of analysis, another member of our Cadre operating with obsolete weaponry is the Hylian hero known as Link. His sword and shield and random assortment of post iron-age equipment seems to be of little use compared to our armament. However, secondary energy scans read that all members of the N team not wielding technological weaponry are possessed as of yet an unknown energy source. I will catalogue this energy source as [sub file MAGIC.txt] and analyze later, time permitting
Samus Aran seems to have the right course action and has upgraded and tuned her suit to maximum capabilities. Weighing odds of success increase dramatically with such firepower available.
Secondary analysis of Princess Lana yields information on her armament. She seems to be wielding the Blaster and Power Glove. The gravity of the situation is completely understandable, even for myself.
The final assault begins as we enter the core of the floating planet, Metroid. Security systems have been activated, as was assumed in previous battle schematics. The front line parameter is guarded by Mother Brain’s generals, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. Data files are up to date and threat level is considered minimum. A full frontal assault dispatches them with minimum effort as I have contributed a 13% input to part damage by utilizing [power_slide.exe] and [mega_buster.exe] on the reproductive organs of King Hippo.
Moving into the next sector, we have found ourselves in a large vaulted cylindrical chamber. It seems my old nemesis, Dr Wily, is waiting in a new assault robot suit. I cannot scan the systems, as they are shielded. A full on assault must be pushed. After activation of a threat level “S” laser assault, Wily has attempted summoning a strange robot/bio-form he refers to as Zero. All scans are off the chart in the way of technology and capability but it seems we are capable of dealing with him. Wily, in a last ditch effort to stop us, has attempted a self-destruct mechanism, wrapping a high powered explosive around the princess. Probability for survival seems low, but success was attained through team work, a tried and true equation.
After dispatching with the doppelganger robotic Wily, the only way to press forward seems to climb the chamber upwards. At the summit of this conduit, an opened chamber awaits. A darkness envelops the room that even infrared and x-ray scanners cannot penetrate [ *update MAGIC.txt]
Another being attempts to hinder our path forward. Vital scans indicate no life signs present in assumed organism. Introduced as Dracula, he seems to be a foe from Simon’s world.

All attempts to attack the darkness have failed. There is an elf in front of me… it is Link.

[Reroute system lag/ memory stack dump #FFFFFFF clear partition]
[Resume analysis]
Prolonged power output from all members has forced the use of the Power Glove’s inane ability to open portals. Princess Lana has opened a portal to the Sun. Though this action seems extreme in nature, it is effective 1000%. Dracula has been dispatched and satisfactorily cremated to component atoms. The risk factor made by Samus in forcing Dracula through the portal must be taken note of as this human capability for self-sacrifice seems to be contradictory to human nature of self-preservation.
Approaching the chamber of Mother Brain, we meet another powerful target. Known as Medusa, the team is subjected to more battery as Medusa’s paralyzing stone beam is taking its toll on our group [ *update MAGIC.txt]. Team combat effectiveness is down 20% with the dispatching of Link…
[Program Lag]
[Uknown Subroutine/ emotion.dll/
Execute $4DN3$$ ]
A strange reaction to this event is running through my subroutines. Reaction to outside stimulus is generating a feedback. It is like the circuits around my power core are registering a pain.
[Query: Is this the emotion of human sadness? Analysis to follow post-combat]
[Resume analysis]
. The final confrontation with Mother Brain is a bit fuzzy on the receptors. All power re-routed to body servos for maximum efficiency. The outer casing of the fortress is being torn away. Mother Brain has revealed itself to be a massive bio-form linked to Metroid itself. We have come under the direct fire of our own laser batteries as fighters scramble and we approach the Palace of Power. A forceful assault involves scaling the creature and dispatching with the bio-mass of brain tissue at the apex of Mother Brain. Again team work seems to pull through in the end.
The final portal held within the Power Glove will take us back to the palace where we can take up defensive positions.
[Warning proximity sensors indicate a massive metal/bio-form {Ridley}]
We are forced through the portal leaving Samus behind…
[Evaluate Combat Effectiveness] -25%
[Program Lag]
[Uknown Subroutine/ emotion.dll/
Execute ]
A strange reaction to this event is running through my subroutines. Reaction to outside stimulus is generating a feedback. It is like the circuits around my leg servos are partially unresponsive they are quaking sporadically.
[Query: Is this the emotion of human Fear? Analysis to follow post-combat]
[Resume analysis]
The Palace of Power is under full siege. Massive bio-form detected.
[Proximity sensors indicate bio-form {Kraid}]
[Re-route all power to main cannon. Charge all reserves to full.]
[Run Last_Ditch_Effort.exe]
After unleashing all the power left in the effective N Team, the siege is held momentarily at bay. Game boy has executed some form or previously unknown programming. The palace is surrounded in a shield and all is in a strange for of stasis.
All sound of battle ceases. We are alone. We are given final instructions by the Princess to enter the lower chambers of the palace and await the return of the captain. The Princess does not seem to be following. I am detecting a reactive rise in blood pressure from Simon. We must follow orders.
I am beginning to feel the strange subroutines again. I must do a full systems analysis while in stasis. Perhaps I have been damaged somehow and overhaul is needed. It is a complex conclusion of the fact. I conclude I feel fear… fear, sadness and…

[Run subroutine {Hope.exe /d /format}]


Oh my gosh, Ian, I actually got chills reading this. You are amazing :D

Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep
Rykael Ziruas

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